The Distance Between Us Read online

  ‘Darling? It’s Mum.’

  ‘Hi, Mum. Any news?’

  ‘We’ve just spoken to Tammie.’

  ‘Oh…?’ Tasha turned to quieten the children.

  ‘Ella still hasn’t been discharged. They’re saying she’s not strong enough yet.’

  Flora was now yelling at Max, who had clearly done something else to offend her. Covering the handset Tasha turned back around, shouting, ‘I SAID be quiet!’ and glaring at the children in an attempt to silence them. ‘Sorry, Mum,’ she continued. ‘What did you say?’

  Lizzie repeated herself.

  ‘Look, please don’t worry Mum. She will get there, I promise.’

  ‘Apparently she’s still being monitored. Her recovery isn’t happening quite as quickly as it should be.’ Lizzie filled Tasha in on the rest of her conversation with Tammie. Tasha switched into medical mode, reassuring her mother that this was all normal, that it sounded as though the doctors were doing everything that they should be. She had spoken to Ella’s doctor again the day before and was still happy with their course of treatment. Despite the reassurances she had given her mother, by the time she hung up, she felt quite tearful. She was overwhelmingly tired, which wasn’t helping. She bet Charlie had slept beautifully with no little visitors interrupting him, and in blissful air-conditioning too. Somehow, despite her exhaustion, Tasha summoned the energy to clear up breakfast, get the children dressed, wrap a present for Marigold and load them all into the car.

  ‘How long is it going to take to get there?’ moaned Max an hour or so later as he sat in the back of the sweltering car. The air-conditioning unit was still broken and it felt as if they were sitting in a sauna.

  It was only supposed to take an hour and a half, but the traffic had been virtually at a standstill the entire way out of London. She predicted it would take at least three hours all in all. Sweat trickled down the back of her neck and she blinked furiously to keep herself focused on the road ahead.

  ‘It shouldn’t be too long now,’ Tasha lied.

  ‘I’m too hot,’ groaned Bella. ‘I don’t feel well.’

  ‘I don’t feel well either,’ Flora echoed.

  They crawled through traffic at a snail’s pace.

  ‘Are we nearly there yet?’ Max asked.

  ‘Ow!’ shrieked Bella as he leant over and jabbed her in the ribs. ‘What did you do that for?’

  ‘I’m bored,’ said Max.

  ‘Well, there’s no need to hurt me!’

  ‘Max, leave your sister alone!’ Tasha instructed, trying to keep an eye on the two of them in the rear-view mirror.

  ‘Ow!’ Bella shrieked.

  ‘Max, what did you do?’ Tasha glanced over her shoulder.

  ‘He hurt me.’ Bella sobbed. ‘He pinched my leg!’

  ‘Right, Max, that’s it! You’re not getting any pocket money this week. And if you hurt Bella again, you won’t be getting any next week either.’

  ‘Don’t care,’ sulked Max.

  ‘Well, you should. Now say sorry.’

  ‘So-rry!’

  ‘Say it nicely.’

  ‘SORRY!’ shouted Max, crossing his arms bolshily and looking out of the window.

  Tasha drummed her fingers on the steering wheel and willed the traffic to clear up. She was going to be extremely late for the lunch at this rate. As soon as they got there they would have to turn around and leave again. At least it was less time making small talk. One thing was for sure, if she didn’t get the children out of the car soon, she was going to have a nervous breakdown. Her head was throbbing.

  ‘Flora darling, can you pass me my water? Take one of the cartons of Ribena for yourself and pass one to your brother and sister. It’s important we all drink plenty of fluids in weather like this.’

  ‘I’m boiling!’ Flora said as she reached into Tasha’s bag. ‘Why are we even going to this stupid party?’

  ‘I need the loo,’ Max announced.

  ‘Right, well, try and hold it until we get onto the motorway, then we can find a service station to pull in at.’

  The bickering intensified as the temperature rose. By the time they arrived at Marigold’s house the children were like coiled springs waiting to burst out of the car. They barrelled out at the speed of light and sprinted across the lawn, aiming straight for Daisy and a few other children who were playing in the sprinkler at the bottom of the garden, their cheeks red and their hair stuck to their skin. Within seconds they were wet and cool, leaving Tasha dreading the car journey back even more with no dry clothes to put them in.

  ‘Tasha,’ said Andrew. ‘You made it!’

  ‘I’m so glad you are here.’ Becca wrapped her in a hug. ‘I’ve finally got a wing-man.’

  ‘I’m sorry we’re so late. The traffic was absolutely atrocious.’

  ‘Any news from Charlie?’ Andrew asked.

  ‘Not a peep… I assume he is having a wonderful time, in comparison to me anyway!’ Tasha laughed.

  ‘Well done, you,’ said Caroline, coming over to kiss her on the cheek. ‘We heard there had been an accident on the M25 from Jeremy. There’s nothing worse than a traffic jam. Now come along and say hello to Marigold. She is very upset that Charlie isn’t here.’

  No rest for the wicked, Tasha thought as she was whisked off into a rather exhausting conversation with Marigold, who was hard of hearing and sadly not quite as with it as she once had been.

  ‘What did you say, dear?’ Marigold peered up from her chair like a queen addressing her lady-in-waiting.

  ‘I’m Tasha, Charlie’s wife,’ Tasha repeated. ‘He’s so sorry he couldn’t make it. He would have loved to have seen you.’

  ‘Charlie?’

  ‘My son,’ Caroline added.

  ‘Charlie…?’ Marigold repeated, seeming none the wiser.

  ‘Tasha’s just arrived from London,’ Caroline said.

  ‘London? Oh, how lovely! Have we met?’

  ‘Yes, we have.’ Tasha smiled, attempting to move the conversation on. ‘What a fantastic party! So many people!’

  ‘Yes…’

  ‘And such a wonderful, sunny day!’ Tasha smiled again, full of false cheer. All she wanted was to have a good chinwag with Becca, taking refuge in the quiet shady spot she had found to keep Fergus out of the sun. But no such luck. When she had finished talking to Marigold, Caroline proceeded to make round after round of numerous introductions, each one involving polite enquiries into the health and well-being of her family, and ample discourse about the weather. After several hours of this, sipping sickly sweet elderflower rather than the wine she craved, Tasha felt as if her pounding head was going to explode.

  She finally found Becca. ‘I think I’m going to have to make a move if I’m going to make it back in time for dinner.’

  ‘But I’ve hardly seen you!’ Becca moaned.

  ‘I know! Our mother-in-law has certainly kept me very busy. I’m not sure how you’ve got off so lightly!’

  ‘Fergus is a great excuse.’ Becca laughed. ‘Make your escape while you’ve got the chance. We’ll probably be setting off soon, anyhow.’

  ‘Give me strength for the return journey,’ Tasha groaned.

  ‘Good luck! I’ll see you on Thursday, anyway.’

  Tasha had forgotten they had dinner plans. ‘Great. See you then,’ she said, kissing her brother and sister-in-law goodbye.

  ‘Right, children, time to go home!’ she called, rounding them up like a sheepdog from the mass of children gathered at the end of the garden. They were all soaking wet from the fountain and full of cake, sweets, chocolate and ice cream. Given the sugar high after a single ice cream last weekend, not to mention the car journey that had followed, Tasha was dreading their return to London even more. ‘Say goodbye to Daisy,’ she said.

  ‘I don’t want to get back in the car!’ Max cried.

  ‘Neither do I,’ chanted Bella.

  ‘It’s way too hot,’ moaned Flora.

  ‘I know it’s hot, darlings, but
we can’t stay here forever.’

  ‘Well, I’m staying here!’ Max shouted, stamping his foot.

  ‘Come on now, don’t be silly,’ Tasha said, trying to keep her cool.

  ‘I mean it. You can’t make me!’

  Tasha was desperate to get back on the road. She knew she would need all her powers of persuasion to achieve this result without causing an enormous scene. ‘Look, I know it’s been a long day, but you’ve had a lovely time playing and at least you’ll be nice and cool for the way home. I’ll tell you what, you can all strip down to your pants so you don’t have to wear your wet things. And when we get home, we can have pizza for dinner. How about that?’

  Having finally won the battle, she opened the car door to a flurry of protests. The temperature inside had now reached boiling point. She cursed Charlie for leaving her alone yet again and made a mental note to get the air-conditioning fixed as soon as possible. She never should have left it for Charlie to sort out. She hoped he would be suitably appreciative of all this when he got home. Perhaps he would spoil her and bring back a nice present from Duty Free.

  Another argument broke out halfway around the M25. At one point all the children were crying and Tasha was on the edge of tears herself. As she pulled onto the South Circular, Bella, who had been looking increasingly pale as they neared London, vomited all over herself, the car and Max.

  Max screeched, ‘Mum! Bella’s just been sick on me!’

  ‘Oh, Bella, darling!’ Tasha said.

  ‘Poor Bella, are you OK?’ Flora asked. ‘Mum, what shall I do?’

  Bella started to sob, then she retched once again. Tasha tried her best to keep her eyes on the road whilst glancing repeatedly over her shoulder and trying to calm the children down. ‘Don’t worry, Bella darling, it’s all right. It’s probably just the hot weather making you feel sick, and all the ice cream. Don’t worry, Max, we will clean you up as soon as possible. Flora, here, take these,’ she said, reaching into the glove compartment and passing her some wipes. ‘See if you can get some of the worst off.’

  ‘Eurgh, Mum, gross!’ Flora looked disgusted at the suggestion.

  Tasha frantically scanned the road ahead, looking for somewhere to stop. Spying a café, she pulled over.

  ‘Right, let’s get you both out and we’ll clean you up.’

  ‘But we’re only wearing pants.’

  ‘Mum, there is no way I’m going anywhere in just my pants,’ Flora said, horrified at the thought of doing anything so mortifying.

  ‘OK, well, you can stay in the car, darling.’

  ‘But it stinks of sick.’

  ‘Never mind, with the windows open it’ll soon clear up. See if you can use the wipes to clean up a bit. I’ll give you double pocket money as a reward.’ Flora rolled her eyes. ‘Right, you two, at least you’ll be easy to clean!’ Tasha tried not to care about the curious looks she was receiving as she walked into the café with Max and Bella, who was still crying. She took them both into the toilet and tried her best to wipe them down with soggy paper towels.

  The last part of the car journey was even more unpleasant thanks to the accompanying smell of vomit. By the time Tasha finally got them clean, fed and into bed later that evening she felt totally broken. She sat on the sofa with a cold gin and tonic, too exhausted to even turn on the television. Just as she took her first sip, she heard the key in the lock.

  ‘Hi!’ Charlie called as he dumped his bag and came through to the sitting room. He seemed in an extremely cheerful mood. ‘Are the children all in bed?’

  ‘Yup,’ Tasha said.

  ‘Shame! I was hoping to make it home in time for bedtime. What are we having for dinner? I’m starving.’

  She couldn’t believe he was asking about dinner instead of finding out about the dreaded lunch party.

  ‘I’ve only just sat down for the first second all weekend. I haven’t exactly had time to cook.’

  ‘Do we have anything in the freezer?’

  ‘Go and have a look.’

  A short while later Charlie came back into the sitting room. ‘I’ve found a shepherd’s pie. How do you defrost in the microwave again?’ Tasha explained how to operate the microwave for what felt like the hundredth time. A few minutes later Charlie came back in again.

  ‘I can’t seem to get it to work…’

  Tasha hauled herself up off the sofa with a sigh. She went into the kitchen. Within seconds the shepherd’s pie was defrosting. She returned to the sitting room and collapsed, still waiting for Charlie to ask about her day.

  ‘I actually had a great time in Zurich,’ Charlie said, following her back in and flopping on the sofa with a cold beer. ‘I think the client was really impressed with us, and it should be good news for me if something comes from it.’ He seemed in high spirits: energised and full of beans. The polar opposite of her mood.

  ‘Good.’

  ‘We went to the most incredible Michelin-starred restaurant last night. We had a seven-course tasting menu with matching wines. It was one of the coolest places I’ve ever been! You’d have loved it!’

  ‘Sounds wonderful,’ Tasha said, slightly sarcastically. Charlie wittered on about his weekend as he swigged his beer. She cradled her gin and tonic, taking refreshing sips as she listened to him talk.

  ‘It’s all right for some,’ she said. ‘Sounds like you’ve had rather a nice weekend.’

  ‘Of course, I’d rather have been at home, but as business trips go it wasn’t a bad one.’

  ‘Of course,’ she said, assuming he meant anything but as he disappeared into the kitchen.

  As they ate Tasha watched Charlie, waiting for him to ask her about her weekend. Nothing. He couldn’t have been less interested, or less grateful. She felt herself bubbling with irritation. How could he be so oblivious? He must have absolutely no intuition if he couldn’t pick up on her mood. She had bent over backwards for him today, for his family, and was rewarded with nothing but tales of how he had been wined and dined at vast expense all weekend. There was no word of thanks, even. She felt like laughing at the thought that he might have brought her a present back from the airport. Fat chance! As if he would have been so thoughtful.

  As she lay in bed that night she feared that the gap that separated them was far bigger than the mere inches of mattress space between them. The idea of wriggling over to his side of the bed for a cuddle was an impossible thought. After the day she had had part of her wanted to do just that, but she was too annoyed with him. Instead she turned to face her bedside table. She was so tired, yet she couldn’t fall asleep. She listened to Charlie turning the pages of his book, eventually switching off his bedside light and finally falling into the deep and rhythmic breathing that told her he was asleep. She lay there, wide awake, for what felt like hours.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The weather changed overnight. The heat seemed to have ignited the heavens as dark grey clouds tumbled in, soon crackling with lightning and echoing with deep booms of thunder. The storm had woken both Max and Bella. Tasha had slept with them in the spare room, grateful for the distance from her marital bed, two little bodies curled up against her to keep safe. She cherished these moments when Max was cuddly and sleepy. They were few and far between. Bella was always in the mood for hugs but her little boy was more reticent. She remembered those blissful hours cradling him in her arms when he was a newborn and marvelled at how the time had flown. Despite his tantrums she loved his fierce independence, his feisty little personality. Every time she looked at him, his freckles, his sandy fringe and the pale skin that had rarely seen the light of day that lay beneath, she knew that all his trickier moments were worth putting up with.

  As Tasha enjoyed her cup of coffee in the garden the next morning she breathed in deep lungfuls of air. The damp smell of the earth was heavy, the plants bejewelled with raindrops and the grass soaked through. The garden was saturated with water, its thirst quenched by the rainfall over night after a long dry spell. There was a sense of regenerati
on in the air.

  The children rose without protest for once, relieved by the coolness. Arriving in the kitchen, Bella proffered her kilt for Tasha to do up her button. It was too tight for her to manage herself. Tasha made a mental note to dig out the next size up from Flora’s hand-me-downs, another item added to her ongoing list. She thought once again about the mental load article that she had discussed with Flo.

  ‘Can we have scrambled eggs today, please?’ Bella asked.

  ‘Good idea, darling. We haven’t had eggs for ages.’

  ‘Have you seen my skort?’ Flora asked, coming into the kitchen pulling on her polo shirt. ‘I need it for games today.’

  ‘It’s in the pile of clean washing on the stairs, I think,’ Tasha replied, clearing a pile of Charlie’s papers from the table then fetching eggs and a bowl from the cupboard.

  When all three children had located their various belongings, dressed themselves in the requisite parts of their uniform and eaten their breakfast, they set off up the road. Tasha was praying that the rain would hold off; she had forgotten to bring an umbrella and the clouds above looked full to bursting and ripe for another downpour. Luckily the heavens resisted the temptation to open and she managed to get them all safely through the school gate in time for the first bell.

  After swapping pleasantries about the weekend with a few of the other mums she headed for home, lost in her thoughts. She was still fuming about Charlie’s lack of appreciation yesterday, not to mention his utter failure to read her or her mood. As she rounded the corner she noticed Javier sauntering up the street towards his front door, approaching from the opposite direction. He had the paper and some milk in his hand and was looking up at the sky as if he had just felt a droplet of rain.

  ‘Tasha!’ Javier exclaimed as he lowered his eyes, his gaze falling upon her.

  ‘Morning, Javier,’ Tasha replied.

  ‘That was quite some storm last night, wasn’t it?’

  ‘It certainly was! Were you at work?’

  ‘We were treating a guy who’d been knocked off his bike. There was a power cut but thankfully the generators kicked in. It must have been a big one.’